Coluccio and Renaissance KO’d by KR

match reportRenaissance 3-6 Team KR
Andrew Presly

Coluccio’s tenure as Renaissance manager is over following a shambolic 3-6 defeat to minnows Team KR at Haverstock last night.

This sorry capitulation to a team they had beaten so comprehensively only two weeks earlier represented the nadir of this nightmarish campaign and the display, bereft of any footballing fundamentals, finally made the man at the top’s position untenable.


Colucccio, earlier.

In a brief statement the outgoing boss thanked his players and the board but admitted recent results had precipitated his parting from the post two games earlier than planned.

The evening had begun in more upbeat fashion with the Blues looking to bounce back from the previous week’s mauling by The Mighty Quinns.

Missing Brunelleschi and The Realist to injury and illness respectively and with Da Vinci in rumoured discussions about a transfer to the Montreal Marsupials, Rembrandt was restored to defensive duties alongside Laranz and as part of an experimental 2-1-1-2 formation, perhaps a last desperate throw of the dice by the soon to be departed gaffer, Robespierre and The Artist lined up behind Raffaello and Scholesy up top.

Playing in their white away kits, Renaissance would make a horrific start to the proceedings, even by their shoddy standards this season.

No sooner had they kicked off, some lax passing at the back presented a Team KR forward with an early sight of goal and with noticeable nonchalance he sent an effort beyond Verrocchio to open the score. 1-0 KR with just 10 seconds played – just like that. Frankly it was sickening stuff.

The tone had been set and sad to say such slow starts have been a hallmark of the season. The torpor amongst the troops was noticeable, any pre-game words by the manager apparently falling on deaf ears. A softly softly approach to tactics and general organisation has been found wanting time and time again and have doomed Renaissance to some of the worst results in their eight year history.

Team KR surely sensed their opponents’ malaise and a second goal was shortly on the way, another assured finish amidst non-existent marking. If all of a Blue persuasion were not embarrassed by this no show of a display, they should be.

Scholesy got his team back into it with a lob over the KR keeper at the second attempt but, as has been the case so often, within moments of kick off a long pass through the middle sliced upon the Renaissance rear guard, The Artist at fault in failing to engage a midfield runner who finished unerringly for 3-1. Clinical KR finishing, the noticeable lack of pressing the opposition allied to such inattentive marking was proving a lethal combination.

It was to get worse. After a ball from The Artist up the right hand line was cut out by a now tails-up Team KR, the man in possession scurried through a crowd of bodies unperturbed and fired in to make it four. When the fifth went in moment before the break the game was swiftly turning to farce.

5-1 down at the interval and against solid but by no means spectacular opposition and there was an air of bewildered resignation about proceedings. With the possible exception of Verrocchio in goal nobody was emerging from this with basic human dignity intact, never mind credit.

Coluccio was unable to hide his disbelief and in truth by that stage had seemingly relinquished the reigns in all but name. It was left to some of the more senior players to lead the rallying calls but in truth there was nothing but pride to play for now.

Surely such a pathetic predicament would stir Renaissance into action? Well, in a word, no.

The re-start, preposterously, saw an almost carbon copy repeat of the opening seconds of the first half, when just as quickly from kick off a Team KR forward waltzed past Laranz to fire his side into a 6-1 lead. It was laughable, really.

After that death nail, both for the faint flicker of hope for a comeback and more pertinently Coluccio’s managerial career, Renaissance could have been forgiven for imploding completely. But perhaps having plunged to rock bottom by this stage, for the next few minutes they began implementing some of the intent mentioned at the interval.

The horse had long since bolted but it was pleasing to see at least some semblance of teamwork and commitment to the cause burnt deep into the muscle memory of the players.

A Team KR encroachment into the area gave Scholesy the chance to notch his and his side’s second of the game from the penalty spot and a long range effort from Raffaello, nicely teed up by Laranz, brought Renaissance to within three but both goals had the unmistakeable air of meaningless consolations.

To win the second half of the game 2-1 was of scant consolation to those assembled as the final few minutes ticked away, Verrocchio again being called upon to make some smart stops.

6-3 Team KR at the close and Renaissance’s lamentable disregard for the basics of the game ensured it was a deserved triumph for the minnows.

Despite an illustrious history, Renaissance’s standing and reputation in this competition doesn’t bare thinking about. In less than a year the club has gone from an undefeated title winning league season to oblivion.

With two games left to play there is the chance to leave Camden with an 8-8 record and a small measure of peace but after recent weeks even that modest aim would represent something of a triumph.

Renaissance are now in an uncomfortable place where defeat and disillusionment are habitual. Who will lead them out of this darkness?

Verrochio; Rembrandt, Laranz; Robespierre; The Artist, Raffaello Scholesy.
Sub: Sam

About Andrew Presly

Andrew Presly
Andrew is an Everton fan (for his sins) and has been writing match reports for Renaisance for the past year. He performs key duties in his role as Director of Administrative BS which involves dealing with Top Corner and organising training sessions.

One comment

  1. Well, it doesn’t get much lower than that. 5-1 down to Team KR by half-time?! With all due respect to all involved, Team KR included, that’s unacceptable.

    We need an almighty kick up the backside!

    Then, and only then, can we even think about payback for The Mighty Quinns…

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